Elevator Action - NES

Let's be honest for a second, here: “Elevator Action” really sounds like the title of a supremely cheesy 70's adult film. When I started the game, I thought for just a moment that it might be interesting. In some way or another.

Well, unfortunately, this game is not interesting. I have found that it is impossible to make a game solely focused on elevators interesting, and there surely isn't much action to be had, either.

Apparently, you're some secret agent, sent to ride an elevator down about 50 floors in a big, blue building. Occasionally, you have to get out of the elevator and actually walk down a flight of stairs, because the elevator doesn't go down that floor. I'm trembling with excitement already, aren't you?

There is supposedly a purpose to all this intriguing gameplay. As your ride the elevator to the bottom, you have to go in the red doors, collect briefcases, and avoid getting shot by clones of guys who all wear the same black trench coat and top hat.

Just 18 floors of crap to go.

I know it sounds amazing, but it really isn't. First of all, this game looks about as bad as an Atari game, and makes about as much sense as most of them do, too. The only interesting thing you can do is squash mafia members with the elevator. If you get to the bottom without the briefcases, guess what? You're sent right back up to the top to fetch them.

I don't know if this game has more than one level, because I honestly gave up after my character fell about three feet, spun around in a circle, and died a slow, painful death. That's a bit too much Elevator Action for one day, methinks.