Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Current Gen Crap: Five of the Worst Wii Games Ever

Really bad video games are kind of like a nasty car accident on the highway: you know you shouldn't stop to look at them, but out of curiosity, you do anyway. It takes a special type of game to be considered one of the worst. Some games have bad graphics, but an excellent story. Others have no story, but are fun enough to make up for it. The worst games, however, seem to get nothing right. If you own a Nintendo Wii, stay far away from the following five gaming disasters.

1.Ninjabread Man
How did something like this get published?
A sword-wielding gingerbread man may sound like an interesting concept for a video game, but don't be fooled. Ninjabread Man's world consists of outdated graphics and a barely functional control scheme. Even kids, the game's target audience, won't be impressed.

2.Calvin Tucker's Redneck Jamboree
If you ever wanted to know what it's like to be a redneck, here's your chance. As the story goes, redneck families from across the trailer park decide to compete in a collection of minigames. The grand prize is the privilege of living in the park's most luxurious trailer. If the ridiculous story doesn't keep you away, the awful minigames will.

3.Army Men: Soldiers of Misfortune
The funny thing about this game is that the title actually serves as a warning: you'll experience nothing but misfortune if you attempt to play it. You take on the role of Timmy, a boy who shrinks down to the size of his Army Men toys to help them win a war. Sadly, with controls this dysfunctional, you won't be winning anything.

4.Chuck E. Cheese's Party Games
Taking a kid to the real Chuck E. Cheese's arcade, complete with screaming children and mediocre food, is a much better option than playing this game. This is another of the Wii's lackluster attempts at a minigame collection. Most minigame collections allow and encourage multiple players to join in, but not this one; it's for one player only. Not that it matters: finding anyone that wants to play this game is probably impossible.

5.Action Girlz Racing
Action Girlz Racing is, to put it bluntly, a technical nightmare. At the start, you're given three nearly identical racers and just one racecourse. Never mind that the graphics are horrible and the characters are boring clones, the game's nonexistent camera control and glitches are even worse. The fact that you can drive your car straight through the walls says it all.

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