Altered Beast - Sega Genesis

I hear this game is supposed to be a classic, but really, it's just classically crappy. The premise sounds cool enough: transform into a werewolf and beat up the foes in your way.

As is often the case, it sounds better than it is. You are some unknown man, bought back from the grave by Zeus to save his former lover from a wizard. The game side-scrolls automatically, taking you along with it, and stripping away any chance for exploration.

This wouldn't be too bad if the game was fun. But it's just not. There are five levels, and they're all basically the same. Walk through the level, punching and kicking zombies and other demonic creatures. As a puny human, that's all you can do: try to smack a demon before it eats you alive, which happens a lot. Every so often, a blue dog or pig (can't tell which) leaps at you. Kill it, and power up. Kill enough of them, and you transform into a vicious monster! If only it was as good as it sounds.

Wolfman versus Demonic Pile of Crap.

In the first level, you're supposed to become a werewolf, but you just look like a big brown man with the head of a wolf. Sure, you can shoot fire and dash across the screen at super speed covered in flames, which are abilities I didn't know a werewolf had. But this makes the game essentially play itself, since everything dies in one hit. Even the boss goes down easy.

And once you beat one boss, you just move on to the next level and do the exact same thing again. Worse, as you go on, the game can't even handle all the action on-screen, and it slows down to a crawl. But don't worry, if you're playing this game, you'll probably give up well before this ever happens.